A few days ago, as I went about my typical work day, I started to feel this overwhelming anxiety at the idea of what I thought I needed to do. To combat those feelings I did what I always do: write a rant about it. Through the process, I started to find ways to combat those feelings, and am insanely proud of the writng that came from this frustration. I know that a lot of artists and writers deal with these same fears and feelings, and hopefully that you find some solace and comfort from my words. I hope you enjoy my ranting, and editing Tori will be back at the end for some concluding words.
I am not a content creator.
Lately I’ve been in a bit of a slump when it comes to what to upload to my website or to social media. It’s not due to a lack of ideas, rather, the motivation to follow through, and the fear of nobody reading or viewing it.
It’s an odd thing to be a creative trying to make an income off of the skills you have. I often feel I’m not great at a lot of what people consider ‘normal’ things. Rather, my skills are shown in the words I pen, methodically choosing which one to type next, so that they may impact whomever may come across them. I craft intricate tales of strong heroines fighting to reclaim their narratives, love torn apart by the trauma of the past, memories that have faded into obscurity, burried deep in the recesses of the mind, only to resurface and wreak havoc on the ones who chose to forget. I pour out my most intrusive thoughts and deepest desires in every poem that I write. And I sort through the lessons and experiences of my past, reclaiming my own narrative of the struggles I have dealt with, and then choosing to be brave in sharing them with others. I am a storyteller and a writer, and that is where my skills rest.
Not only that, but I love to draw. I have always created doodles or illustrations, and have found it to be a way to express the things words cannot accurately convey.
I am an artist, a writer, a poet, a wordsmith, and above all else, a storyteller.
But that’s only going to get you so far in this world. Being a skilled storyteller and creator does not seem to matter, almost as if it is becoming a lost art. Who cares how great your stories are, or how impactful your words may be, if no one sees them. It’s all about the views, the clicks, and fighting to be at the top of the homepage, amongst an ever changing landscape of trends and algorithms.
If you can’t do short form video, then you have to post a dozen times a day. It’s exhausting to do, and those who manage to keep up with it have the resources to do so. They have a team behind them, and have been doing it for so long that they have an audience.
But when you are doing it as one person, it’s not so easy to keep up with all of those stupid things. Everyone thinks it’s easy, all you have to do is post. And yes, that is true to some extent. Anything of substance, however, that takes time and effort to craft, well that is a whole different story. It doesn’t fit under that category. You can’t just post a drawing and get a million views. But doing a simple dance or joke that over a thousand other people have already done will.
I’m not a content creator. And it sucks that if you are an ARTIST or a WRITER you are automatically forced to be a CONTENT CREATOR. They are NOT synonymous with each other. It’s why a lot of us creatives feel as if we are doomed to fail the moment we even begin to try marketing our work. It’s not enough to post once a week to social media, or to publish one article a month. No, you have to be CONSTANTLY adding new content or else you will be lost in the dust, while a simple gag that has been repeated to death will continue to rise while you pour your heart and soul into pieces of art that only continue to fall.
The sad truth is, I don’t know how to fix it. How do you move forward when these harsh truths continue to overwhelm you? How do you block out that noise of the world around you, and how do you get the greedy, hungry monster of these algorithms and platforms that demand to be fed, to just shut up and let you be?
I don’t know, and it’s a problem that I fear has no solution.
All we can do as creatives is, well, what we do best: create. I’ve been doing a lot of sketches lately, trying to improve my skills so that I can illustrate my graphic novel. I’ve found new techniques for drawing hands, and have improved in drawing different body types. I still have more to learn, but it’s a lengthy process that happens behind the scenes, for no one but the artist to see.
I’ve also been writing, and have a bunch of projects I’ve started working on. I have things I want to add to my website and to my social media feeds, but it’s taking me a bit. And a large part of that is the fear that no one will see it, because it doesn’t fit in the criteria of what’s expected from everyone if they want to make an income off of their work.
And I don’t know if that fear will go away. I hate that. But it is what it is, and as I continue to write this lengthy rant, and venting about the gripes I have with posting online, I’m finding some ways to combat that very fear. It will never go away, and it will continue to be a long, exhausting battle to just get someone, A REAL PERSON, to view your work and resonate with it, and then to actually want to purchase from you or read a full article.
I’ve learned that certain platforms don’t work for me, and that I have no obligation to keep posting on a site that no longer works for me, or to feel as if I have to post as much as others do. It’s a constant battle to block out that noise, of feeling like you must do what everyone around you is doing, but it can be blocked out to some extent.
One way is to find other creatives who are also in that same predicament. I know I am not alone in this, and so I want to find others who also struggle with trying and failing to meet that demand, so that we can band togehter and find ways to attack it. There is strength in numbers, and having others to support you and help conquer the same trial can make all of the difference.
Another thing is realizing what works for you, and then leave behind whatever seems to not be working. Saying no is an amazing thing, because you feel a sense of relief that this one responsibility or burden is now gone. I’ve gone through this process a few times, and am still trying to figure it out. I tried live-streaming on Twitch, but found it to be exhausting. The combination of not being able to play the music I listen to while working due to copyrights, and the lack of audience, or an audience who only wanted to sell their products, only led to me being drained afterward, and left in such a foul mood. So I stopped doing them, and it’s been a relief. I think if I had actual viewers who wanted to be there just to interact with me and the content, then I would love doing it regularly and might even find it to be rewarding. But that isn’t the case, so unless I am able to do it with an active audience, I won’t waste my time and energy live-streaming.
And now for a short derailment since the other main example is a rant within itself. I have a personal vendetta against Patreon. There are many, many reasons as to why, but I should save that for another post right? Ah. there it is again, that little voice saying that I need to please the algorithmic overlords!
But I will probably save it, since I really want to dig my heels in and needlessly rant about it.
Long story short, I tried to set up a Patreon page for my creative business, and after about a year, shut it down, because Patroen sucks.
I can’t wait to write that one.
That’s another thing I’ve learned to do: write about what I WANT. If you try and please an imaginary individual you have crafted as a manifestation of your brand, you’ll only find yourself overwhelmed by endless people pleasing tendencies, or even worse, find yourself trapped within a set of restrictions for your work that suck the life out of your art. I am not saying that having an audience in mind in itself will lead to this. You have to have an idea of the person or group you would want finding your work, and you do have to promote it in a way that makes it easy to find. Rather, it’s making it overcomplicated, giving them so much power that it effects every single thing you do or make.
For myself, I tried to follow the guides on how to nail down a target audience, only to find it overwhelming, and even a bit paralyzing. I could not comprehend why on earth I needed to know my target audience as much as I know the characters I have created. The characters I’ve created would already be reading my posts, viewing my art, etc. In fact, I’ve even started writing posts AS my characters, because it’s the most fun I have had writing in a long time. They already read my work and even contribute, whereas some random person online has no clue who I am, so why am I expected to know them?
Instead of getting lost in the sea of articles detailing this same process over and over again, I came to my own realization about finding an audience. I want people to find my work because they like ME. Authenticity is the most important thing to me, especially when it comes to my art. So if someone finds my profile, or my writing, I want them to connect with my voice, my way of expressing myself and telling stories. I want people to connect with the story I have to tell, and the characters who have gone through hell and back (sorry guys, lol), and relate to them, or find comfort in their journey. I want other artists to be inspired by the stuff I make, or a fellow nerd to come across a post on my favorite show or a piece of fan art and enthuse about it with me.
My target audience is whomever decides that they connect with what I create, in whatever form that may take. And when it comes to posting things online, I want to be authentic as well.
I know this is a really long rant, but I’m almost done, okay?
It can be hard to be authentic in a world where everyone is jumping on trends, or even worse, choosing to let a program do all of the creating for them. I personally feel that art is the most human thing we have. Without the human experience, art, music, and writing loses what makes it so remarkable. That triumph over adversity, or those characters that you cherish so much that they feel like friends, can only come from a person, with a beating heart, who can experience life and reflect it in their work. It’s tempting to experiment with a program, but where’s the fun in that? I’d rather keep the fun all to myself!
And that can lead to you being at the bottom of the pile of new and shiny things to look at. But that’s okay. I choose to be authentic, and if that leads to the rants I love to type out and never post, or maybe post, then that’s fantastic, since I believe they are some of my best pieces. I want to make things and enjoy the process, even if it means I only post once every three months. I’d rather create things I enjoy and am proud of, even if it leads to no one seeing those creations.
At the end of the day, I am an artist, writer, and storyteller, not a content creator. So instead of wasting my time and energy on keeping up with changing trends and algorithms, trying to cater to an imaginary audience, forcing myself to post on sites that are unproductive, and sticking to a posting schedule that will only lead to overwhelm, I will make art on my time, that I am proud of, and that feels authentic to me and my experiences in life. I do want to post more, and to not worry about perfection in my posts, but I think that such a mindset will come as I move forward in this new way of approaching content.
Because I am not a content creator, but an artist and writer sharing her work with the world.
Concluding Thoughts
Honestly, I can’t believe you actually made it to the end lol.
Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope that you either found some comfort as a fellow artist, were inspired to keep making things, or found it interesting and gained a new perspective. I know it can be hard to figure out the balance of art and content, but eventually it can be done. I’m still working on it myself, and have a BUNCH of things I’ve been working on and will hopefully post sooner rather than later.
To stay up to date on what’s new, you can check out my social media pages, and more importantly my Ko-Fi page. I love Ko-Fi, and would love if you checked out my page, or just any creators Ko-Fi page. (I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT KO-FI IS BETTER THAN PATREON.) Hehe… that rant will be coming soon.
Until next time 🙂
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