It’s taken me a while to find my voice as a creative person. I’ve tried so many different creative paths, and it’s taken repeated failures to get me to where I am now. Failure is inevitable if we are going to make any progress. Take Tom Haverford for example. It took him four different tries until he was able to get to his ending as a successful entrepreneur. It’s been a long journey, and I’ve gone through many creative phases. Creativity started as a form of therapy, and remains that. Now I’m able to share it with others and am making a business out of it.
Since a new month is almost upon us, I thought I’d finally share my in depth creative journey up to this point. I also want to touch on what that means for me going forward and some advice on how you can continue on yours. In this post, I’ll talk about my creative journey from the beginning, in part two about my creative business journey, and in part three about tips and advice for those who are on theirs.
THE VERY BEGINNING
With any story, you have to start from the beginning in order for it to make sense. For me, that means the little girl with the bright blonde hair who was full of joy.
I’ve always been a creative person. I was the kid who drew on every surface imaginable, and loved decorating everything with stickers. I had a huge imagination, and loved playing pretend and making up stories in my head of far away places. When I was a little older, I learned more about drawing. Art and music were my favorite classes in elementary school, and that wasn’t just because I had fantastic teachers in each. I just loved creating, no matter what form it took.
Of course, when you are the creative cat and have such an interesting mind, that can cause others to pick on you and make fun of the way you think. I was always viewed as oversensitive, weird, and odd. There were kids who were kind, but that didn’t block out the others remarks. So to cope, I turned inward. I relied on my creative nature and my imagination to get me through the day. And it’s remained a huge part of who I am now.
Fast forward to my teenage years. Those proved to be the hardest time of my life. I honestly don’t remember a whole lot from that gap of thirteen to eighteen. But I do remember the highlights, the good memories, the friends I made, and the art I created.
THE STORM ARRIVED
It started at around thirteen, and just kept raining down from there. It was like a wave of constant storms and storm warnings. And when you thought it was safe to go out into the daylight, you would get another warning to stay indoors so you wouldn’t get electrocuted.
I don’t remember the exact order, or the exact ages, but in my head this is how I remember it happening.
First was my vision. I had always dealt with poor eyesight, and wore glasses since elementary school. But I started to notice that my vision was getting worse. My current eye doctor kept telling me everything was fine, but boy was he wrong. I was later diagnosed with Rod Cone Dystrophy, which is a degenerative disease that doesn’t have a cure. If you would like me to do a further post on my vision and how it both impacts and enhances my creativity, I would love to write it. But basically it means that I will eventually lose all of my vision.
Then came the mental problems. I was starting to deal with what I would later find out was depression and anxiety. I had no idea what mental illness even was, but I quickly learned. I still have to battle it, and it’s something that won’t go away. But it’s something I’ve learned to combat and deal with.
I’m not trying to write a sob story and make you think poor Tori. I don’t think I would necessarily change what I have been through. It’s made me a better person. It’s helped me see the world in a different and beautiful way. And I don’t know if I would be who I am if I hadn’t been through the storms and come out stronger. I want people to view this as a lesson of strength and that no matter what happens, you can weather through it and come out stronger. Even if you are still weathering storms, just know that you’ve got this.
And all of these things have only made me more creative. So that’s why I’m putting it here.
FINDING A CREATIVE “UMBRELLA”
(Laughs at Tom Holland dancing in the rain to this song for a full five minutes, then realizes that has nothing to do with the post so she gets back to her topic)
When I was around fifteen to sixteen, my parents signed me up for guitar lessons. I had been writing poetry and lyrics up till then, and now had a way to add the music. At the same time, I was creating new characters in my head. I was drawing and making sketches of these people and characters I saw on tv, in movies, and in books. I started to write down my ideas a bit, such as a character who had the ability to pulse and was a skilled fighter; a boy who had genetically made wings and was the leader of the group; a young girl who knew how to get what she wanted; and a boy who had to be an assassin to save his sister’s life. These characters would later become the ones I would write about, and compile their stories to put into a book one day. Well, eventually that day will come.
I would bring in ideas of lyrics I had written to my amazing guitar teacher, and we would write melodies as he taught me how to play the chords. I wrote a song that came to me through an image of an old, abandoned house. It looks rusted, dirty, and like one of those houses in a horror movie. But if you took the time to go inside, you find this beautiful home, full of flowers and pretty wallpaper. I also wrote a poem with a line that spear-headed one of my favorite songs I wrote. It’s about how you can get lost in the thoughts you have while people-watching at your favorite coffee shop. I also found bands and artists who wrote lyrics and told stories that I related to.
Being creative and expressing my feelings through these outlets helped me figure things out. I later was able to find treatment for my anxiety and depression that seemed to work. And my vision hasn’t gotten worse for a while.
Being creative helped me weather the storms, and it continues to do so. It’s a huge part of who I am. And the journey doesn’t end here.
This is how I got to the point where I felt comfortable sharing my art with the world, and would later start my first business attempt at eighteen. My personal creative journey is the catalyst that led to my professional creative journey, and that’s why it’s important to share it. This is act one, and part of act two.
I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope that maybe it inspired you. You are strong enough to weather any storm. You’ve got this. Now that I shared the “origin story” so to speak, I can write the part where the hero dawns the cape and realizes their potential.
Stay tuned for part two, and if you want to see more of my art, go follow me on instagram!
Until next time 🙂
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