Do you ever wish you could go back in time? Maybe you want to experience a perfect moment again for the first time. Maybe you want to go back to meet someone in the past. Or maybe, you want to talk to your younger self.
Well, unless you own a DeLorean or know The Doctor, I don’t think any of us have the option of going back in time. But we can reflect on the past, and reflect on the good and the bad.
I thought I would do that by writing a letter to myself. Well, myself when I was fifteen. I had a lot going on, and wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through those storms.
But looking back, it’s clear to see that I did.
So here it is. Here’s what I’ve learned, and what I’d tell my fifteen year old self if I could.
A Letter To My Younger Self
Dear younger me,
Life at the moment is probably not what you were expecting it to be. You thought that maybe you had it figured it out. You had it all planned- what you would be doing, where you would live, how you would make a living, who you would end up with, all of it.
But right now, you’re going through the worst kind of hell there could be. You are learning that you did not get a fair deck of cards, and that you did not ask for any of this. You’re probably even wondering why you should keep fighting. What does this life have to offer me? Why am I feeling all of this? How am I supposed to cope?
Life probably seems like a worthless investment at the moment.
But hold on, okay?
At some point, you’re going to realize that there’s a purpose to this fight. That holding on is the key to getting through it. At the end of the tunnel, there is a light. You may not be able to see it now, but it’s there. Hold on to that.
The glimmer of hope that you may think is lost, isn’t. You feel like you’re in an endless maze, and maybe to some extent that is true, but there is an end game. You just have to keep hoping. And you have to keep fighting.
Maybe at this moment people are mean. You may feel like you don’t have any friends, and that no one could possibly love you for who you are, your quirks and flaws, all of you. But in time you will see that you have a massive support group behind you, that love you, and appreciate you for who you are. That your voice and story can help others and touch their lives in ways you could’ve never imagined.
Right now you probably are scared of saying what you feel, or of speaking your mind. But you will learn that writing it down in a story, a song, or a post, that that can have a lasting impact. Spoken words are easily forgotten, but a well written prose or catchy song sticks with a person forever. You will learn that your voice is a force to be reckoned with, and that you should never feel ashamed of how you feel, because feeling things deeply and sharing those feelings is your greatest superpower.
Maybe at the moment you are scared of the future. You had all of these plans and goals, and now you aren’t sure if they are ever going to happen. Well, unfortunately, you’re never going to not be scared of the future. But in time, you’ll learn to not worry as much, and that it’s okay if your plans change. That learning to roll with the punches is a great skill to have. That no one can predict the future, so worrying about it isn’t going to change anything.
Right now you probably aren’t sure of who you are. When you’re young, you question everything, and second guess everything. But in time, you will find that you knew who you were all along. That going through the storm helped wash away the doubts, and helped you see clearly.
You are fierce and a force to be reckoned with.
You are a creative cat by nature, and are always drawing inspiration from the ordinary, always writing and creating in your head.
You are brave, and have weathered many storms only to come out from them stronger.
You are an empathetic person, and you feel others pain so deeply that it’s as if you are experiencing it yourself.
You are kind, and always try to share that with others.
You are beautiful, wether you realize it or not, and you don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty.
You are a hurricane of a girl, and one day you will realize that.
But you are not a liability.
You are not a reflection of this world’s hate and suffering.
You are not broken, and do not need to be fixed.
You are not the opinion of someone who has never gotten to know you.
I know right now there are so many doubts rolling through your head. And I know that it only gets harder. But then it gets easier. It will be okay. And you will survive this.
Just hold on. Because this pain will end.
With much love,
Your twenty one year old self.
Well, apparently I’ve learned quite a lot. I hope that maybe this post was inspiring to you. I hope that you know that your past does not define you, and that if you’re going through storms in your life, that it will get better. That one day, you will be able to look back at those storms and not be so scared of them. Because they taught you some vital lessons, and they helped you become the person you are today.
Until next time 🙂
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